Creating Christlike Intimacy
The last few days I've had to curb my music arranging appetite to spend more time finishing an informal research study I've been conducting as part of my graduate degree. It has yielded some rather fascinating aspects that have perked my interest being the father of an 18 month old. (Today is actually his 18 month birthday, Happy Birthday Daniel!)
Anyway, to make a long story short, I was struck by a book by Daniel N. Stern that was recommended to me by a fellow grad student. He did an in depth study on the unique relationship between a mother and her infant child. (It's titled, "The First Relationship" for those who want to read it). In it he focused on some of the most minute behaviors that both mothers and children exhibit in their interactions with each other. It got me thinking about the intimacy of that relationship. A relationship so strong that spouses often feel jealous or neglected. Fast forward to further in the study, I found in my own survey that while formal musical training predicted high levels of musical confidence, musical confidence did not predict how frequently a parent would musically interact with their child. At first I was rather disappointed as this result completely disproved my hypothesis I had written a few months before. Regardless, as I got to thinking about it, it made perfect sense.
Let me explain. We innately use music as part of various activities at home with our children. We sing them good night, we sing to them as we play, we sing to them to pass time in the car. It's an incredibly adaptive parenting skill that makes parenting a whole lot easier. (That's actually the main point of my entire paper). How lucky we are then, that we don't feel self conscious in front of our infant children. How could you feel self conscious singing in front of your two year old? Any parent that has held a newborn infant in their arms will acclaim to the sweet innocence they sense in their arms. One of the greatest things about working with children is their acceptance. They love you as you are, mistakes and all. And because of this we innately feel comfortable singing to them, no matter how horrible, off pitch, or off rhythm we are. They simply lie there, stare at you, and love you all the same. #PureMusic can't get much purer than that.
This got me thinking about the intimate nature of music. There are many, many songs composed that have been written for significant others. Most music out there is written about love. But more than the topics we choose to sing about, is when we use them. Music takes a part in so many intimate settings. Even if we are not performing the music ourselves, it is often been played by a musical device either electronic or nonelectronic creating romantic moods out of thin air. It adds to my personal testimony of the power in music. Christ loved people individually. He went to them in groups, but more especially one on one. This is how he healed, this is how he taught Nicodemus of the Sanhedrin. Recall also the story where he kicked out the "mourners" in the house of a so called deceased child, so it would be just him and the family of the child, just before he revived her. Christ was able to create intimate settings that enabled him to more powerfully minister to the people he served. So too can we use music to make for more intimate environments around us, helping us to more effectively bring those around us to Christ. I'd honestly like to see more singing done, not just at home, but in informal meetings across the church and the community. I know wards and congregations will find themselves being drawn together more closely and intimately as they share music in more of their meetings, both formal and informal. It will help all of us, individually, and as a church, to overcome all of the challenges that come our way.
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I'm a sacred music enthusiast. I'm one of those people that attends church for the music just as much as the sermon, one of those people that give an evil glare at the people who leave for the congregational hymns, (Ok no, not really).